fatefulprince | ◇ inbox : victory road ◇

[_{Corrin was awake, miraculously enough - he was up in the night getting a glass of water because the heavy rain was disturbing his sleep. he was surprised to see his device glow and a message from Sandalphon pop up. naturally, concern immediately brews within him, since he knew his boyfriend was out travelling at the moment. he places his glass of water on the side counter and immediately messages him back.} ]

I'm awake
Is everything okay?

Not particularly.
Everything hurts so much-- emotionally, that is. Physically, I'm alright.

[ he debates spilling his heart out through text. it would be so easy to explain everything. and yet... ]

It's difficult to explain over text. I don't want to be able to see it...

Sandalphon... whatever's bothering you, you know you can talk to me.
And I don't mean in text. I mean in person.
Where are you at the moment? I'm going to come see you.

At an inn, in Ecruteak.
I know I can speak to you. It's why I contacted you in the first place-- in fact, you're probably the only one I can speak to confidently about this...

[_{Corrin had pulled on a hoodie over his pyjamas and a pair of leggings, not caring in the least how he looked right now. Sandalphon was his priority, and after putting on a pair of rain boots and grabbing an umbrella, he was ready to leave.} ]

Ping me your location. I'm heading out the door now.

[ he does just that, only pulling the blanket he had on him closer. it felt so cold already. why did it have to get colder?

when corrin arrives, sandalphon was huddled onto the bench, looking smaller than ever. whatever it was, it was clearly eating him up. he lifts his head once he hears noise, giving away the fact that his eyes were red from tears. ]

Corrin...?

[_{once he spots Sandalphon and hears his name, he starts running before he throws his arms around him in a tight embrace. he was so unused to seeing the brunette looking like this, and knew something must've caused it.} ]

I'm here now.

[_{both of his hands rub the other's shoulders soothingly as he pulls away to gaze at him.} ]

What happened...?

[ sandalphon sinks into the hug that corrin gives, sighing in relief. ]

A nightmare. A long, painful nightmare.

Sandalphon ...

[_{his hand combs through the other's hair while he holds his head, sighing as well, while squeezing him tighter.} ]

I'm here now. [_{oh, how he ached knowing that Sandalphon suffered alone like this.} ] Do you want to come back to my home and spend the night with me? I'll lend you an ear too, if you need it.

[ he breathes through his nose, wondering if he should even take the offer. sure, it would be better if he could simply ignore the feeling and let it go away, but he knew it would fester...

but the thought of being alone for the rest of the night was too much to bear. ]

Please. I... I don't think I can be alone tonight.

[_{Corrin felt his heart shatter in his chest upon hearing that. never, not once in his life had he seen Sandalphon in a state like this. even though their relationship was still new and fresh, the prince missed him so much when they were apart. and now knowing that an incident like this had happened where Sandalphon needed company was just ... a lot that weighed on him. but he didn't have time to dwell - without wasting any time, he releases his Galarian Rapidash from her Pokéball and gathers his partner's belongings - but not before he parts that brown hair and gives him a lingering, firm kiss on the forehead.} ]

You won't be alone tonight. Not while I'm around. I'm going to take care of you.

[_{it takes them a good 20 minutes or so of galloping to get back to Corrin's rented property, where he dismounts and returns his Rapidash before heading inside with his partner. he carries all of Sandalphon's belongings in for him and turns on the light, encouraging him to sit down on the tan sofa in his main room. he sits beside his partner, stroking his cheek with his thumb, speaking in a gentle hushed tone.} ]

Do you want me to get you anything? Something to drink...? Whatever you need right now, I'm here to provide it.

[ the ride was particularly silent, given that sandalphon was deep in thought. he was so very thankful corrin had come and lent a hand unquestioningly. it was a blessing that sandalphon would never forget. once they arrived to corrin's estate, the angel couldn't help but look around a little closer. he didn't pay too much attention to it the last time he was here, so now was a good chance. it was a great distraction from what he was dealing with.

at least the couch was soft, and corrin's hand on his cheek was even softer. ]

Nothing for now. I don't believe I could stomach anything, anyways. [ he smiles wryly, but it doesn't even reach his tired eyes. ] I just need something to distract me. I feel as if I'm trapped all over again... [ and in a lower voice. ] I still see so much blood on my hands...

[_{the prince nestles himself closer to Sandalphon, gently easing an arm around him while he holds him tighter. he kisses his forehead softly, stroking his arm with reassurance while he encourages the brunette to rest his head on his shoulder.} ]

I'm here ... I'm here. [_{Sandalphon was murmuring something pretty unsettling - and Corrin wouldn't press on him if it was too difficult to talk about. he was content enough to hold him like this, but wanted to give the distressed angel space to vent if he needed it.} ]

I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but ... if it would help at all, I'm happy to listen. You're safe here with me.

[ the kiss on his forehead made him realize that yes, indeed, he was out in the real world, where the passage of time was not littered with by either beings too powerful for him tearing his body apart or the endless horde of grotesque beings attacking him every single waking moment. that fact alone made tears spill, silent, but coming out in droves. yes, corrin was here. he was safe. astrals, was he ever safe.

he buried himself into the hug, honestly debating if he was willing to even spill his history to the prince. was he really willing to risk his relationship? would he even stay? he choked on his breath at the thought. no, corrin wouldn't, right?

... right?

he looked up at corrin, looking not like a virtuous angel, but a frail child looking for a sign of hope. his voice trembled as he spoke-- astrals, he hated being so vunerable, but the memories were far too much. ]

... If I were to tell you... would you stay? No matter what?

[_{his brows furrow in seriousness - only because Corrin anticipated that this would be a very tender situation to discuss. but as a man who had lived through war and bore witness to unimaginable cruelty upfront, he was confident that no matter what Sandalphon had to tell him, he wouldn't harbour judgement. to place emphasis on how serious he was, the prince takes his partner's hands into his own and gazes at him.} ]

I promise.

[ given the affirmation, sandalphon breathes in. he prays to whatever god that could hear him that corrin's right. he hates feeling so vulnerable and helpless, and yet... corrin deserved to know. he heard his story. sandalphon only felt it right that he knew his. he takes a deep breath to stabilize himself but he's unsure if it was even any help. ]

... My kind, the archangels, were all handmade by one man a long time ago, save one. That one angel was forged by the hands of a being known as the supreme primarch, the angel that oversaw all evolution. But all archangels were known to serve an purpose, abstract or otherwise... and the supreme primarch built this one angel without one, without ever revealing it to him.

[ his voice trembled as he spoke his next words. ] The creator of the archangels took interest in the purposeless angel and how he came into being, and subjected him to... to cruel, despicable experiments, the pain making him retreat to his core to heal. [ tears budded in his eyes. ] The only happiness this purposeless angel had in his garden cage was that the supreme primarch himself would visit him, spending time with the angel that didn't know a thing of the outside world. He would teach the angel many things, even bringing him his first experience with coffee... until the secret was out.

[ he chokes on a sob as he continues. this was getting to be too much, but he pushed forward. he forces himself to stop speaking of it as a story, but rather reality. it was his reality and he needed to accept that. ]

... I found out that I was a spare for the supreme primarch, desitined to be worthless for all eternity. [ he shuddered, tears now streaming down his cheeks. ] It drove me to madness. I was offered a chance to rebel against my maker, and in my grief and despair, I did.

I did, and the supreme primarch punished me. He condemned me to hell without so much as a tear for the angel he created... All I wanted was to be useful for him... That's all I wanted, but I thought he would never understand my plight... my despair... [ he curls into corrin's shoulder, silent sobs wreaking havoc on his body. it takes him a while to recover and continue. ] And now I'm so far away from him, with nothing but grief and pain... which eventually turned into fury...

I was so, so angry, Corrin... so angry, but I couldn't take it back and fix it... and I...

[ he couldn't continue, now unable to hold any of his tears back. he knew the rest, of course he did, but thinking hurt. it hurt. he cried and cried, trembling like a lost child. ] I... I don't want to be alone anymore...

[_{they had been dating for a little while now, and yet ... this was Corrin's first time hearing of his partner's history. to say that he was heartbroken by what he had heard was an understatement. not only this, but by the way he gradually watched Sandalphon crumble in his arms as he explained himself. it was a situation which almost mirrored what he had experienced at prom, where Sandalphon had cuddled him and soothed him from the breakdown he had after remembering the troubles of his past. only this time it was different: they were in a relationship now, and it wasn't strange for Corrin to show as much physical affection as he could offer.} ]

Sandalphon... I'm here. It's okay. I'm here.

[_{he soothingly rubs his boyfriend's arm with his hand, stroking him with his thumb, speaking in a hushed tone.} ]

You can cry. It's okay. Let yourself cry.

[_{Corrin almost felt like crying himself from hearing Sandalphon's account of what he went through. how familiar parts of it were, like losing your mind to grief and almost hurting someone in the progress. Corrin doesn't remember if he mentioned the fact that he almost killed someone he loves after losing his humanity to his dragon powers, but he knew he would tell his partner about it soon to provide a deep empathy and understanding to the guilt that must be eating away at him. only when he feels that it is appropriate does he begin to speak, guiding his caring words out in a gentle hushed tone after applying another kiss to Sandalphon's forehead.} ]

I'm so sorry you went through a horrible ordeal like that ... I know from experience that nightmares of the past are never fun. [_{Corrin glances at his coffee table and leans forward to grab some tissues, giving them to his partner.} ] But going forward ... it is never a pain you have to suffer alone ever again, Sandalphon ... I'm not leaving you, and I never will. [_{he squeezes him tighter.} ] Your anger was just, but you aren't worthless to me ... I want to protect you for all my days to come.

[ the dam was open, and sandalphon let himself cry and cry. of course, he had those parting words lucifer had given him, the words that he'll carry close to his heart no matter the trial... but that didn't stop the pain of losing him, of missing him by his side, of wanting him to experience the world as he sees fit, away from the roles that were forced upon him and now that he'll never have. he cries for the loss of his friend, his innocence, and even the fact that he was now cursed with the title that lucifer wanted to cede to nature when everything was said and done.

but even so, he didn't deny the fact that corrin was here, comforting him and making him feel cared for. the prince didn't even mind that he was soaking his pajamas up with tears. that alone made the angel realize that corrin wasn't lying, like the cynic in him said. his promise held true, and sandalphon held nothing but gratitude. the comfort was even more than what he offered the prince in his time of need, but he chalked it up to them not being as comfortable around each other as they were now.

eventually his tears did dry up, and he listened intently to his boyfriend's words. he was never alone... he would never be alone. sandalphon felt so relieved at the promise that he finally found the strength to return corrin's hug, using all his strength to keep his arms up. he took the offered tissues after a moment of holding corrin tight, blowing his nose and finally finding himself capable of speech once more. ]

Thank you... thank you for not leaving. [ he finally finds himself capable of a smile, and this time, it does reach his eyes. it fades as he moves on, wiping his face from his tears. ] I... Of course, there's more to the story, however... that's where most of my nightmare was.

I... [ he takes a deep breath. ] I wish I could take it all back. But what done is done. I hurt so many people, however... [ he places his head atop corrin's shoulder. he was definitely tired now. ] I believe I can still atone, to pray for their forgiveness so that I can become a better person.

... Will I be able to accomplish it? I'm unsure. But I'm very willing to try.

[_{Corrin continues to soothingly run his thumb over Sandalphon's hand, speaking in a gentle tone.} ]

You show clear remorse. And that is invaluable. That is a sign of ... true character. Strength, growth ... that you've moved past the choice you made. You deserve forgiveness from yourself.

[_{he leans into his boyfriend.} ]

There are parts of my past, the decisions I've made that I regret greatly. They may not have the same gravity as what you went through, but ... I share only because I want you to understand you aren't the only one who has battled through the moral dilemma of self forgiveness. When I turned into a dragon for the first time, I ... [_sigh ] ... I ... almost killed someone very close to me. The only thing that stopped me was a magical song that calms dragons, sung by the woman I nearly killed. If she hadn't done that ... [_{Corrin takes in a sharp breath.}] Well. Let's just say it was a very close call.

[_{another deep sigh.} ]

But ... she forgave me. And I forgive you. And you should forgive yourself, too. You will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to, and I will be here for you every step of the way.

[ sandalphon felt the need to cry once more-- but not tears of sorrow, but of joy. what wonders does it make that he can find the ability to forgive himself. he had an inkling that he was being too harsh on himself, but corrin's words only proved him right, and it was something for him to think on.

it only helped accentuate the fact that forgiveness is a two way street, when corrin told him about his own pains. to almost kill out of the same level of uncontrollable rage... while corrin was able to save the one he almost killed, sandalphon did not have that luxury. but corrin still found it in him to forgive. how he wanted to be as strong as his partner.

then again, he didn't have to do it himself, now did he? his prince did say that he would not be alone under any circumstance. it comforted him. ]

How are you so kind-hearted...? [ he sniffles. yeesh, he did a number to his face, he's sure. ] Sometimes I wonder if I truly even deserve you...

Regardless, thank you. For being here, and to allow me to... at least come to understand many things about myself... [ he takes a deep breath. ] Would I be able to depend on you, if I were to stumble...?

[ there's a pleased hum that escaped him over Sandalphon's visually improved demeanour, while he lovingly runs his fingers through those dark locks of soft brown hair. ]

You deserve kindness, Sandalphon ... you deserve to feel loved, cherished and protected.

[ the words that Sandalphon says fills him with a special kind of determination to see through to his partner never feeling like he has to hide anything like this from him ever again. while continuing to run his fingers across his hair, he plants a kiss on his head. ]

Of course. Please ... let me be your sanctuary. I'll never judge you for struggling ... and I only hope to receive the very same from you. There's a lot in my past that haunts me sometimes ... and I think we can help each other out a lot. You can consider my home yours ... my door will always be open for you. And so will my heart.

The same applies to you, Corrin. I hope you do not forget that.

[ even if corrin was the one comforting him this time around, sandalphon wasn't happy just letting him benefit from this personalized therapy. if corrin ever needed it, he would provide all the same. the bonus affection was certainly soothing his soul, even as he tried to grab tissues without breaking contact. ]

As I said before, the same applies to you as well. If you're to be my sanctuary, then I will cherish you as you deserve to be cherished. I'll be your pillar of support no matter what you go through, no matter what obstacle you come across. Regardless of it all, I will love you as you deserve to be loved, now and for all time. [ he's unsure if corrin would even live as long as he will, but he tries not to dwell on such a topic. ]

... Sandalphon.

[ Corrin gazes at him half-lidded with so much adoration in his eyes. he was so full of love for the man sat with him, he felt as though he could hardly breathe. oh gods. now it's hit turn to tear up. ]

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[ those tears finally break free while he takes the other's hands. ]

[ ah, nope, not going to happen. sandalphon reaches over to grab some clean tissues, dabbing corrin's tears away with a smile. ]

Come now, no need to cry. [ he laughs lightly. ] Let's simply say we were both lucky to find each other, alright?

[ Corrin giggles softly, he was feeling embarrassed for crying but ... he was so, so happy. ]

Mmhmm. [ sigh ] Alright. [ he leans in to kiss Sandalphon on the lips, lingering for a good moment. ]

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